Hanging up the flanges? This means I am done pumping. (I can't believe I just wrote that out loud. I am done. Done. The idea is still so crazy to me after all these months.)
What is exclusively pumping? Exclusively pumping, or EPing, is pumping instead of breastfeeding. It means you can not/do not want to nurse but still want to provide breast milk by pumping and bottle feeding. There are a variety of reasons why one would be an exclusive pumper. For me it was because Wyatt has a cleft and was unable to nurse. By pumping I was still be able to provide him with the benefits of breast milk (and save a ton of money on formula!).
Right after Wyatt was born the nurses rolled in that big Madela pump and I got to work. Those early days were hard. I pumped every 2-3 hours for 20-30 minutes each session. Pump, wash, sterilize, dry, bottle, label, store, repeat. After you factor in time feeding I spent 12 hours each day on this.
I pumped for 10 months. Wyatt had only breast milk for his first 9 and a half months of life. We only recently started supplementing with formula. These last ten months have gone fast but I still can't believe what a huge chunk of my life I spent pumping. I did the math and I have spent one month of the last ten pumping! I have pumped the last 306 days. I pumped over 1,200 times producing more than 7,300 oz of breast milk. (I pumped 4-6 times a day for the first 6 months, 3-4 times a day the next 3 months and 1-2 times a day the past month.) For over 300 days pumping was the first and last thing I did every day.
There were some hard days (enter fog of newborn needs combined with lack of sleep, cleft issues, doctor appts, going back to work full time, etc.) but we made it through. I say we because I couldn't have made it this far with out the support of my family and friends. There were many times I dreamed about how nice it would be to quit but I didn't. After a while it just became a part of our routine.
When I started my pumping journey I didn't have a specific goal in mind for how long I wanted to do it. I figured I would pump as long as it worked and told myself before I started that whenever the time came and for whatever the reason I was going to be open to, accept and let myself be okay with being done. My goal was to make it as long as I could and a variety of factors are telling me it is time to be done.
Over time I have gradually dropped pumps in order to find more work, life, and family balance and have noticed a gradual decline in my supply. I can't say I didn't grapple with some guilt as I made it so far yet not quite to that golden one year mark.
When I visualized the end of my pumping journey I saw great freedom and much rejoicing. I am surprised to find myself a little sad. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to be done but it has been such a big part of my life for the past 10 months and I feel great about being able to do this for Wyatt. I think I am sad because it means my baby is getting older and I know I am leaving this stage of my life.
I knew Wyatt was going to have to go through a lot in his first year of life and I felt like this was something special I could do for him. Now that all is said and done I feel I have given Wyatt a great start and it has all been worth it. I am proud of what I have accomplished!
Now, what to do with all my free time...
I also wanted to say while this path worked for us, every parent should do whatever is best for themselves and their child whether it be nursing, exclusively pumping, formula feeding, or a combination.
You are awesome. :)
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